To be effective advocates lawyers need to tuned into the big and small signals we send AND receive. Sometimes the difficulty is we don’t recognize in ourselves or others those signals. Our outgoing messages are obscured by some distracting article. Or we fail to pick up on something subtle, but important, being conveyed to us.
Here are 3 short tips for better communication-
Jewelry
Jewelry makes a statement. You will never make a mistake by wearing too little jewelry. Avoid anything that jingles or clanks on the table. (I sometimes wear cufflinks, but never when I’m trial for this reason.) Jewelry should not be distracting.
The jewelry you do wear should be modest. Large stones and chunky bracelets are distracting. Strive for classic and elegant. Pick something that subtly compliments your suit.
Avoid “The Statement Piece.” You know some jewelry makes a statement, but you don’t always know how another person is going to perceive that statement. It is easy for a judge, juror or witness to be distracted by, or take the wrong meaning from, this type of jewelry.
That said, it is not advised for women to wear no jewelry, as that can be a distracting statement in itself. But like makeup, a little can go a long way.[i] (before you call me out for being way outside my zone of expertise, read the footnote)
5 quick notes on rings-
Wedding rings-express family commitment
Pinky rings-express Family commitment
Earrings-go with studs over the dangling distractive
Noserings-hard pass
Toe rings-awful[ii]
Ties
For men, the most defining elements of their wardrobe are their ties. By its nature, the tie is front and center. They come in a wide variety of colors and patterns and can define the wearer at a glance. A collection of ties can likely tell how old you are, who you are and what image you are trying to project to the world.
While professional ties have always been silk, the styles of ties and their widths change over time. You do not need to chase trends, but you should stay contemporary and conservative. Don’t be afraid to get help in selecting your ties. Invariably I get compliments on ties my mother-in-law picks out for me.
The knot
“Bond mistrusted anyone who tied his tie with a Windsor knot. It showed too much vanity. It was often the mark of a cad.” Ian Fleming, From Russia with Love
You do not need to learn how to tie 5 different knots. Learn one and do it well. (I always use the Four-in-Hand knot.) AND MAKE SURE TO TIE YOUR TIE TO THE CORRECT LENGTH! The tip of your tie should touch the top of your belt buckle. Too short or too long makes you look poorly put together and inattentive to details.
3 quick notes about ties-
Bowties-I say avoid them. Bowties signal that you are (or are trying to be) different and unpredictable-traits not favorable for lawyers. Some judges and professors can pull them off, but unless you are on the bench or in front of a classroom, stick with a long tie.
Bolo ties-If you live in a rural part of the country, are over 60, and have two first names-go for it. Otherwise, don’t even think about it.
Paisley ties-Exercise caution, but when done right, they are great. Paisley brings a little pop to plain suits. Because they are multi-colored they are very versatile. And the pattern helps hide stains!
And perhaps the more subtle signals you need help with -
The St. Pete Bar Foundation’s professionalism seminar is coming up on February 28, 2025. It is always one of the best seminars of the year with consistently more than 100 lawyers in attendance. This year we will have an excellent presentation on Emotional Intelligence as well as the always engaging skits and discussions. You should definitely join us at Stetson for this Bar approved CLE. Click here for more details.
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Lunch and Learn - Mastering Flow: Managing Disruptions to Boost Focus and Productivity for Lawyers
If you are struggling with focus or would like to improve the quality and efficiency of your work day, this is the Bar approved CLE for you. During this lunch, we’ll explore proven strategies to eliminate distractions, optimize focus, and enter a state of effortless concentration where your best ideas thrive. Learn how to harness these techniques to produce high-quality work in less time, whether you’re tackling drafting contracts, writing estate documents or preparing for trial. Join us to transform the way you work and rediscover the joy of focused achievement. This program will provide a comprehensive overview of managing flow and disruptions, practical strategies to enhance focus and productivity, and ways to integrate these practices into daily work life for attorneys. Sign up today!
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[i] Let me know if your opinion differs. I would never hold myself out to have any knowledge/understanding of makeup, and I am deferring to experts here - Etcoff NL, Stock S, Haley LE, Vickery SA, House DM (2011) Cosmetics as a Feature of the Extended Human Phenotype: Modulation of the Perception of Biologically Important Facial Signals. PLoS ONE 6(10): e25656.
[ii] Malkmus, Stephen, “Jenny and the Ess-Dog.” Stephen Malkmus, Matador Records, 2001
A lawyer who lets his mother-in-law pick out his ties doesn’t know how to dress. I’ve used a full Windsor my whole career. While I appreciate this article can’t say I agree with everything in it. Dressing with your own personal style, not the latest trend demonstrates confidence. No brown shoes with dark suits. Shine your shoes for trial. Wear a suit that fits.
Great article. I am curious what you think re: lawyers dressing more casually in sporty polos, no jacket, no tie, sneakers. I am all for comfort, but I wonder what clients think.